Sensing skills
In this context we mean by sensing skills:
- sensing whether an issue has weight or not
- sensing whether a client is focused and collected
- sensing when a client looses contact with the constellation
- sensing whether or not a representative is connected to the field
- sensing when the group looses concentration
- monitoring your own body, your presence, your neutrality, your connection
- sensing and recognizing when your own issue resonates with the client’s issue
When an issue is connected to deep pain, then a simple statement such as: "I have never had a partner," touches us and the energy of the group changes: everybody becomes present for this client and feels connected. When an issue is superficial, then it does not matter whether it is presented with a lot of emotions. Then we tend to withdraw. If you work with an issue that has no weight, then the constellation will have no direction and cannot be developed. So we must be able to recognize whether an issue is really connected with suffering, or that it is just drama without weight.
Also when a client is not focused and collected we cannot develop the constellation. However, sometimes confusion itself is the issue. So we also must be able to recognize whether a client is not focused because he or she is not ready to work on the deeper issue, or whether the client is ready, but his or her mind is confused.
When you facilitate a constellation, you need to keep in contact with the client all the time. Sometimes the client cannot accept what appears in the constellation. Then he or she looses contact with the constellation. This may mean that we got carried away and went too far ahead of the client, so that the client could no longer move along with us. It may also mean that things appear in the constellation that are taboo in the client's family. It may also mean that the image that the constellation shows is not entirely correct, or perhaps even completely wrong. That can happen if some representatives have made interpretations instead of reporting purely their inner experiences — which brings us to the next point: sensing whether or not a representative is connected to the field, or reports from his own imagination. Whatever the reason for the disconnect of the client is, we need to notice whether the client is still with us.
When the group looses concentration it usually means that the constellation has no strength any more. Then we are on the wrong track. In that case we must interrupt what we were doing and make an intervention that is wildly different from what we were doing. And yes, we need our mental skills to find such an intervention. Just doing something disruptive does not help.
All the time while we are facilitating a constellation, we must monitor our body, our presence, our neutrality, our connection to the group and to the client. Our body is telling us everything. In particular, we need to be aware when our own issue resonates with the client's issue.
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