Being mild to ourselves and compassionate to others
To be forgiving to ourselves and tolerant to others. To accept that we are not perfect and to understand that only when we are imperfect we can connect to other people.
Our inner critic is often in the way of being mild and compassionate. The inner critic is also called the superego and represents our internalized parents. The function of the superego is to prevent us from acting and behaving in a way that would endanger our belonging to our social group. So it is in the service of survival. However, the harsh criticism that we sometimes may have received from our parents may have made us timid, and excessively self-critical and critical of others. This self-criticism is in the way of maturation. It often keeps us in a child identity. It is also in the way of professional and spiritual growth. It keeps us in a too narrow safe space. It undermines our courage to move out of our comfort zone and step into the unknown. The clarity of mind and the opening of our perception that we acquire when we move out of our comfort zone and step into the unknown is an essential requirement for facilitating constellations and for counseling our clients.
We will therefore recommend students to do so-called superego work in their daily life during and after the training.