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If we were abused as a child we might not develop the ability to protect ourselves from abuse later in life. Also, since the child may not develop a sense of boundaries then, it might be unable to recognize and respect boundaries of others and therefore might itself become abusive later in life. Thus abuse may continue from generation to generation.
If our parents dominated us rather than encouraging us to become autonomous, then we might become dominant ourselves, or expect to be dominated. Both the dominant and the dominated person lack autonomy.
If we do not develop clear inner boundaries, we might withdraw and keep others at a
distance, making ourselves unapproachable and closed. The rigid boundaries we set then are a surrogate compensation for a lack of inner boundaries, and they makes us unable to connect, relate and communicate. They are a survival mechanism, rather then a true sense of autonomy. Therapies for people who lack boundaries often only encourage to develop such a rigid exterior, which may be helpful and protective for a while, but it does not help to become more integrated and connected. Communication requires to be open to others. But one can only be open in a safe way if one has well-established inner boundaries. More ...